


Strawberry Cream Cheese

by 101_soph, orphan_account



Series: Cream Cheese [1]
Category: Red Dead Redemption
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-05
Updated: 2019-01-05
Packaged: 2019-10-04 16:37:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17308070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/101_soph/pseuds/101_soph, https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: we wrote this because we suck





	Strawberry Cream Cheese

Chapter 1

“Cann'I get a yeehaw cowboi?”

 

Once upon a time in the land of rhode island two autistic children by the name of arsenic and shelby sat in their homes playing van der linde gang until one fuckety morning they woke up in the middle of texas where arthur black lung morgan and dutch sus van der linde found them and like dutch he adopts anything he sees so he took them in as his smol children until the memes commenced. Shelby was over excited and arsenic wanted to drop kick her into the void and they got cool cowboi gear and arsenic played the guitar with javier while shelby was using spongebob memes while fishi- jellyfishing with arthur. Arsenic made the whole gang edgy while playing mcr on Javier's guitar and jack was a scared smol child and shelby kicked micah so hard she was crowned the savior of snickle puss. Then when the pinkertons showed up instead of them catching the outlaws they catched THESE HANDS.

  


Chapter 2

“The Ballad of Satan.”

 

While Arsenic was busy fangirling over her waifu Miki from devilman crybaby, suddenly a fat lump landed on the ground. They realized it was their friend **(name and address withheld)** also known as Satan. Shelby poked him with a stick and he rose with the words, “Sup my dudes there are only 2 genders. Only one can get the bread.” Dutch had realized that the end was near with the children falling out of the sky and couldn't fit Satan into any cowboi gear because he was a fuckwhistle who left his friends at lunch time. Satan slept in the cave of Beaver Hollow because he needs to hibernate the memes and fat cells. From there on Shelby began to antagonize dad dutch because of his susness and Dutch was just like, “I have a plan.” And then Shelby realized she wouldn't be able to have her “fun nights” for a long time when this asshole put his plan in action. Shelby was grounded and Arsenic had yee’d all her haws with the ladies of Valentine and went on to become the first LGBT+ Cowgorl of history while Shelby cried day and night because Arthur had died from black lung disease and Satan just yeeted into the depts of hell.

 

Chapter 3

 

“Really asshole? Curry again?”

 

Before Arthur died of black lung disease, he and thirsty Shelby fished at lake Elysian Pool where all they caught was curry even though that was asian shit.  While Arsenic had used her gay emo powers to generate a WiFi signal so she could binge watch shit already watched 50 times in the past, she waited for Shelby and Arthur to return with foodage so Arsenic could get even more t h i c c e r than she already was. Shelby cuddled bear dad on the way back to camp on his Horse Eddie because bonding is amaze, Arthur dumped a bucket of curry on Pearson’s table and carried his smol child to bed. But no one could sleep do to Satans loud ass snoring and Arsenic crying herself to sleep. The whole camp weeped of grief and smelled of curry and Dutch was like, “Really asshole? Curry again?” But Dutch always was on his fatass making his pLAN.

 

Chapter 4

 

“shelby fucking dies.”

 

After 73848499229948829 hours of being in the rdr world and eating nothing but curry eventually Shelby wanted to get tf back home so she could play dbh with Arsenic. So one eventful day of sleeping all day she went to hunt some new fucking food on her own and got bit by a snake and fell into the river where in the morning was found by dad bear Arthur and fat ass Micah and Arsenic. Arsenics tears were caught in her fat rolls as she began to chant the gay emo spell of resurrection. But not even that could bring the smol meme child back. Dutch was ;-;; sad and Arthur just wanted to die of his black lung disease and Satan, who the fuck knows he was probably busy watching hentai. And fat ass Micah didn't give a fuck because Shelby was always calling him “Sasuke-kun from the hillbilly clan.” But as Shelby's soul passed on to hell, a dire enemy had entered the world. Icy the Deviant. Living representation of a shitty eight year olds oc, lusty thot over Connor from dbh. She had wanted to get her revenge on Arsenic for reading Connor x Reader on Wattpad and now was her chance.

 

Chapter 5

 

“Hookers and Explosions.”

  


“hAhAhA” Icy cackled from above. Arsenic knew what this is about. Her own creation was trying to kill her. She could try to do the ULTIMATE emo gay chant. She sang “DESTROYA” by My Chemical Romance at the top of her lungs as Shelbys essence shown down to Earth as a couple of mutated birds flew her to the surface. It was miniature demonic versions of **(name and address withheld)** . “Hello my child,, I have upgraded to thot buster level and will save ny bois if the Van Der Linde Gang, even you Satan.” Satan just scoffed and went back to reading an autobiography about Hitler. Turns out that Arsenics former friend **(name and address withheld)** had transported to the world as well, and with her thot and aesthetic powers she could help take down Icy. Arsenic just needed to bribe her with Takis and she would help. **(name and address withheld)** was standing next to her, with yiff porn manga in hand she would scar Icy for life and burn out her eyes. **(name and address withheld)** mutated into her fursona and barked. The omega bark blasted Icy back to thot hell and the world turned into a blur.

 

Epilogue

 

“Take me home, country roads.”

 

Back at home, Arsenic was talking to her online pal **(name and address withheld)** about emo gay stuff when she noticed Detroit: Become Human disc sitting on top the PS4 Shelby owned. “Guess what homo?” Shelby asked, “What?” Homo Arsenic replied. “Are you afraid to die, Connor?” And the next day they woke up in the DBH world.  

  
  


“THE CREAMY END..or is it. Find out next time in Thirium Cream Cheese.”

 


End file.
